You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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