I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
