He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
