Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
