I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
her vagine was all disorganized.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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