Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
