it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
