I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
