no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
