Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize