It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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