I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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