So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
