Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
