living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
