Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
