okay pat passed out under dana's car
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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