Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
