obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
