My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you would pick up someone in the library
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
