Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You just made me feel so damn special
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize