seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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