i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
