Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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