Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
