I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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