Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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