I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize