I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
