I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
