I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
