Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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