She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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