My balls are so social today.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
