With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
