You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
