half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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