are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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