Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
