I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
