I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize