just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
