I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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