Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
