Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
