is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize