So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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