some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
