If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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