Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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