Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
