So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
