i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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