I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
