textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize