herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
