Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
