dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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