I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
