I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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