Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
