I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
