I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
