i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
