Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
