Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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