walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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