Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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